Sanibonani, I hope this message finds you well.
Our society has always promoted the idea and expectation that to be a man, means that you must be a provider, you always have a wish/responsibility to feed your family, you feel the need to take care of them. But what kind of despair can result when a man feels they have failed to do so, you feel worthless and not good enough. You end up being afraid and even embarrassed to return home empty handed. You always wonder where your internalized message of “I am not good enough” comes from. You try hard but still cannot give yourself credit. You’re always beating yourself up and thinking somehow you should be more, be better and you just don’t measure up in your own mind. This fate has unfortunately been suffered by women too, under heavy pressure of whom and what she should be as a woman. Failure to conform results in her being called less than, a home wrecker etc. Heavy pressure advice has the potential to do significant damage, whereas love and guidance solves not only immediate issues, but also to prevent future ones. You need that love and guidance to make sure that you able to pass it on to your own children. In fact all of us need to recognize that segmenting ourselves and the attached expectations does little to build our society. It is all our duty to build loving self-efficient families that will result in healthy communities.
We need to stop pointing fingers because we will lose our loved ones forever because they are afraid to face us when they have fallen short of our expectations
Hope you have a great week ahead.