Pressures of Society

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Sanibonani, I hope this message finds you well.

Our society has always promoted the idea and expectation that to be a man, means that you must be a provider, you always have a wish/responsibility to feed your family, you feel the need to take care of them. But what kind of despair can result when a man feels they have failed to do so, you feel worthless and not good enough. You end up being afraid and even embarrassed to return home empty handed. You always wonder where your internalized message of “I am not good enough” comes from. You try hard but still cannot give yourself credit. You’re always beating yourself up and thinking somehow you should be more, be better and you just don’t measure up in your own mind. This fate has unfortunately been suffered by women too, under heavy pressure of whom and what she should be as a woman. Failure to conform results in her being called less than, a home wrecker etc. Heavy pressure advice has the potential to do significant damage, whereas love and guidance solves not only immediate issues, but also to prevent future ones. You need that love and guidance to make sure that you able to pass it on to your own children. In fact all of us need to recognize that segmenting ourselves and the attached expectations does little to build our society. It is all our duty to build loving self-efficient families that will result in healthy communities.

We need to stop pointing fingers because we will lose our loved ones forever because they are afraid to face us when they have fallen short of our expectations

Hope you have a great week ahead.

 

Stay blessed

Andile Gaelesiwe

47 responses to “Pressures of Society”

  1. Ndiyayibulela ubakhona kwale show ka Khumbul’ekhaya,nam ndisenethemba loba singamfumana tamkhulu wethu malume ka mama wam owalahlekayo ngo 1986 ukutsho kwabo,kodwa nge themba

  10. I could not agree more with those heart warming sentiments. I was really touched by yesterday’s story. I do feel that even though it might seem that ubaba had lost his dignity, he actually regained it by taking that big leaping step of deciding to go back home. Since charity begins at home, i hope and believe that ubaba will gain the blessings that emanate from home after he had been away for that long.

    Thanks again to Khumbulekhaya for yet another inspirational story.

  11. Many thanks to Andile and her team for a very good show. You’ve made so may families happy. It’s not easy to look for a lost loved one but your show has made it so much easier. Love your show. Be Blessed

  13. Ngithanda ukubabongela kakhulu labo abagcina bezitholile izihlobo zabo unfortunately Mina angizange ubhutwami ngimthole ongu nkosnathi Zwezwe kodwa angililahli ïthemba

  22. Hi Sisi
    Ubaba wami wazala umuntwana nomnye umama ayethandana naye . Ubaba usaphila kodwa afuni ukukhuluma ngalendaba. Ngazama wangithukuthelela unyaka wonke. Untwana lo akamthola kulomama owentomabazana ngo 1968 egeorge koGO bayamba bayabuyela efree state. Igama Lakhe Untombi umama wakhe kwakumakhumalo. Ngiyafisa ukumthola. Angazi ukuthi ngingenzani.

  23. DEAR ANDILE

    Ndifunisa ngomzala wam uNomathamsanqa Mtshini,wahamba ngo1986 ehamba nebrother katata wakhe uZolile Mtshini kunye newakwakhe uNoprivate Nkasa,ekuhambeni kwexesha wasithumelela incwadi esithi useDurban eshepstone ecela izihlangu zeskolo,utata wakhe ukhona uyamdinga no Meyi Mtshini lo wayehlala kuye naye ongubrother katakhe apho umama wakhe wazombeka khona ngenxeni yoxakela,mhlambi naye uyasidinga apho akhoyo ngoba wamnka eneminyaka emihlanu apha ekhaya,sisekomga eEastern ngokuhlala,sasihlala eKing williams town ethembeni ukumnka kwakhe

  24. Hi sisi ngingu makoti wakwa Modewane indodana kaLucas Modewane nguTwoboy Modewane.ngibenezingane ezine kodwa manje sihlangabezana ninkinga eziningi nezingaphezu kwamandla ethu masifunisisa kwabaziyo bathi umyeni wami makafune ubaba wakhe ngiyacela kukhumbulekhaya ngisizeni ngokushesha angithi okwami kuhlukile kwabanye,yingo singize ngashonelwa ngumttwana ngezi 03-08-2015.kunokuba ngiduduzeke umdeni anawomanje umyeni wami usushintshile emva kokungcwaba ingane yethu,akusenakuzwana.ubaba Lucas Mode wane ngokuzalwa kuthiwa ngowase Botswana futhi unendodana esebenza emapoyiseni igamalayo Israel Modewane,ubaba yena bekasebenza emiddliburg kwa Isaac furniture store,futhi nakhona enizingane amagama azo kunguMatiti no Ezekiel. Umyeni wami uth wangcina ukubona ubaba wakhe NGO 1992 emvakasheli.ubaba ubelethwa ngunaMAbunda

  25. My name is lucky mxolisi mnisi child of dan jabulani mnisi(father) and nomsa ndlovu(mother).i need khumbulekhaya to reunite with my mother who left me when i was 3 months old in 1991 with my father at bushbuckridge.

  26. Igama nginguLihle Mbhele(Nkosi) ngizalwa uVelile Alois Mbhele(nkosi)ngicela ukufuniswa ubaba omncane wami uMakhwezi Mbhele owahamba ekhaya eyosebenza eCape Town washiya ugogo ekhaya eMzinto ehluthankungu waba umuntu obuyela emsebenz-ni akaphindanga wabuya wayesitshele ukuty ugada izimoto zemali okubuhlungu ugogo okungumawakhe usashona ubaba okungubhuti wakhe naye akasekho siyacela khumbulekhaya nisifunise uthunjana wakwababa siyamdinga ekhaya noma ngabe uphila mpiloni sicela abuyele ekhaya

  29. CcAndile And The Team I Really Love Your Show @SABC1 You Doing Good Things By Healing The Hearts Of Those Who Suffered For Years Missing Their Love Ones Who Been Gone For So Long And You Reuniting Families. I’d Be Really Glad If You Help Me Look For My Father (Gcobani Madokwe) From Mtata Engcobo He Left My Mother(Liseto Lepheana) In1993 Matatiele I Wish I Could Meet Him So He Could Introduce Me To My Biological Uncestors It Is Really Heard As A Man Growing Up Without Knowing Your Father. I’m Tsoarelo Lepheana(1992

  30. hi ngicela ongangisiza la ngihluleka ukuvula ama show la kumele ngiyekuphi if ngifuna ukubukela ama show asendlul cz ayavela bt if ngi pressa u WATCH THE SHOW akuveli lutho kuvel izithombe zawo kuphela PLZ HELP ngifuna ukuwabuka #NONTOBEKO

  31. Hi cc andile igama lami ngingu phindile nene ozalwa nguNomathemba mirriam nene sis nginesifiso sokumazi u baba wami ongizalayo igama lakhe ekungu sphiwe (endrew) mhlanga ubekade ehlala egoli (germiston)spruit elokishini ekuthiwa isemavimbela ngingajabula uma ngimamuthola ngoba alipheli i langa ngingamucabanga nginanovalo lokhuthi uma unkulunkulu engamukhumbula umama ngiyosala ngiyini kulomhlaba ngokukhulu ukuzithoba ngingalujabulela usizolwenu niyikhumbula ekhaya

  32. Sawubona cc Andile ngithi nje asilubonge wena nokhumbulekhaya wasilethelwa inkosi,uhlanganisa abantu naemindeni yabo kuhle impela lokhu enikwenzayo ngathi inkosi ingaba nani niqhubekele phambili nohlelo lwenu baningi kakhulu abantu abasalundindga usizo lwenu.syabonga kakhulu

    1. Sawubona cc Andile igama uSbusiso Ngcobo ngfisa ukufuniswa ubaba wami uPenuel Ngcobo engagcina ukubonana naye eGermiston baba ngcela uze ekhaya khona okuphuthumayo okudinga wena umndeni wakho uyakudinga ngyacela bandla cc andile ungsize ngba ifoni yakhe ayisangeni asisazi sizomthola kanjani eyami inumber 0760675865 plzz bafe2 noke

  33. Hi ? andile u rock and unit many friends and family ?.I’m one of those who is looking for a loved one her name is lda zonini Mogapi she was last seen in 1971 I’m the last born of the family she does not know me ill be happy ? to meet her.love you ? sis.0607571808

    1. hi cc andile, ngicela ukufuniswa ubhuti wami engingakaze ngimbone, igama lakhe u sphamandla mkhize ozalwa ngu nonhlanhla mkhize wase Mpendle endaweni yase Gomane. u sphamandla wazalwa ngabo 1987 wahamba no mama wakhe eseneminyaka emibili besuka ekhaya e portshepstone bangaphinda babuya. ubaba wethu ngu milton ndo chiliza wase portshepstone endaweni yase bhobhoyi. ngicela ningisize ngobhutwami ukuphela kwakhe yithi sobabili kuphela kubaba njengoba engekho ngingedwa

  37. Hie Andile ngicele ningifunise ubaba wami uSobantu Cawe owayehlala Soweto edobsenville ngo 1988 eduze nepolicestation mama uPhumelele Sikhakhane Magwaza ubaba wangipha igama elithi Nandipha.Ngiyamdinga kakhulu ubaba wami uthando lomzali angilazi ngoba umama wangilahla ngimncane ngakhula kanzima ngihlala emzini yabantu ngilala ngingadlile ngimncane ngino 8years ngangihlala emzini kunosuku engingasoze ngalukhohlwa lapho ngadlwengulwa (rape)umfanaa walapho ngangihlala khona ngabaleka ngayohlala ehlathini imvula inetha yazi nakuba namhlanje ngiyaphila I thank god and I believe kuthi one day ngiyomthola baba wami mabye le enger engaphakathi wami iyophela ngoba ngibhala nje tears are rolling on my eyes

  38. Hie Andile ngicele ningifunise ubaba wami uSobantu Cawe owayehlala Soweto edobsenville ngo 1988 eduze nepolicestation mama uPhumelele Sikhakhane Magwaza ubaba wangipha igama elithi Nandipha.Ngiyamdinga kakhulu ubaba wami uthando lomzali angilazi ngoba umama wangilahla ngimncane ngakhula kanzima ngihlala emzini yabantu ngilala ngingadlile ngimncane ngino 8years ngangihlala emzini kunosuku engingasoze ngalukhohlwa lapho ngadlwengulwa (rape)umfanaa walapho ngangihlala khona ngabaleka ngayohlala ehlathini imvula inetha yazi nakuba namhlanje ngiyaphila I thank god and I believe kuthi one day ngiyomthola baba wami mabye le enger engaphakathi wami iyophela ngoba ngibhala nje tears are rolling on my eyes my namba is 0792792522

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